We Want a Do-Over

"2011 sucked big hairy massively disgusting old balls." -C.H. 2012

Answering a Woman's Unknown Need

Am I alone when I admit that I have unfounded expectations of a friend, a male in this case, to answer a need, a need I might not know I have, a need that when prompted for fulfillment, feels all that more warm and fuzzy. Evidently, I’m told, the inquiry into needs and or wants is only gifted to women (in this case) who are dependent on the other who is responsible for answering those needs. In other words, I am not co-dependent enough to warrant a kind and considerate “do you need anything?”. Evidently, I’m told, being the independent woman that I am, if I need something in which I am incapable or unable to do on my own accord, then I will ask for help, I do not need to be asked, as I will just tell. Wow. How insulting. I am merely not lazy enough to let someone do everything for me? Somewhere I picked the wrong fork in the road. I take care of what I need to take care of and, evidently, if there is nothing left, there are no other needs. Aside from lifting heavy objects, reaching into a tall cabinet, occasionally twisting the top off the pickle jar, aside from those things that require strength or height, I can reasonably be expected to do everything else for myself. So if this is the case, am I alone when I admit that sometimes it just feels nice to be asked the question? It would feel nice for someone to express their willingness to recognize the possibility of a need (no matter how great or how small) and to offer themselves? This may seem taboo, but what about a man answering a need all by himself? Have men forgot what it’s like to take care of a woman, even when that woman can certainly take care of herself? I refer to Christy’s post, Q&A, about what a woman wants in a man. I really don’t expect a lot, at least I don’t think I do, but that could be an erroneous belief. I expect to be treated as I treat another. When I’ve experienced a temporary disability, I expect to have help washing the dishes, putting things away, assistance staying organized. Laundry. Perhaps men have a hard time recognizing the things, the little things, which would make a woman smile with gratitude. It isn’t always those things that are traditionally “male”. It isn't just a ride to the grocery store, it's also the redundant day-to-day needs.

If only men would know what goes through a woman’s head when they intentionally or unintentionally ignore and/or avoid the needs a woman may have. In my head, I feel a negligent man is insensitive, inconsiderate, lazy, unhelpful and selfish. I feel disappointed, I feel like he doesn’t care, and I feel like he doesn’t know me. I want a man that knows me better that I know myself. I want a man that knows my needs even when I don’t and answers those needs before I do, without even being asked, or told.

Am I alone when I admit I don’t believe that is so much to want? Or need?